May is Borderline Awareness Month. Although Zoe has never received psychiatric care and thus remains without a formal diagnosis, it is my belief, supported by my psychologist, that Borderline Personality Disorder is one of her problems.
There is no question in my mind that borderline personalities suffer badly. Being perpetually unable to form a real emotionally close bond without experiencing such terror that it becomes necessary to destroy that bond is as close to hell on earth as I can imagine.
For a long time hope has been in short supply for these people and for those that surround them. Many therapists refuse to treat BPD; it is difficult for a non-specialist to form a productive "therapeutic alliance" with BP patients because of their tendency to sabotage this as they sabotage any close relationship.
But there is evidence supporting new methods of therapy. Currently Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), developed by Marsha Linehan, herself a BPD sufferer, offers the most promising results. As always, however, responsibility for healing ultimately rests with the sufferer. They have to know that something is wrong; they have to locate that something within themselves; they have to set out to do something about it. If they are to be successful it is probable, at least with current methods, that they will never be able to leave therapy.
Every day since our breakup I've prayed to God that Zoe receives the help she needs. But I don't have much hope for that now. Anyone can lead a horse to water, but even God can't make it drink.
The rest is up to her.
