Disclaimers

Day 43

This blog is mostly for myself and for other Nons. If you are suffering from a personality disorder you are welcome too, but accept at the beginning that you will not like everything you read here, and act accordingly. Actually I would really love to hear from the other side, as it were, so please take the time to comment if you can.

I expect I'll be presenting a mix of my personal story with more general observations on this condition and what it does to relationships. Because I am a man that was in a relationship with a woman, I will probably mostly use pronouns that reflect that; I do this for reasons of literary fluency and do not intend at all to dismiss female victims of male abusers. I am very aware that these disorders are not limited to either gender. Everyone of good will and decent behavior is welcome here. Please replace pronouns to suit your own situations!

As this story unfolds I'll be referencing some people that will need aliases. Additional names may be added as necessary, but here's the initial cast:

• ZOE, the girl this blog is about.
• MELANIE, Zoe's roommate for most of the time of our relationship.
• SIMON, Zoe's gay male friend (I mention his sexual preference here only to dispel any obvious implications of infidelity).
• LEIF, that's me. No, it's not my real name either.

I briefly considered publishing this story non-anonymously, with real names attached, but this blog is meant for me and for other victims; I don't want it tainted with any component of revenge and it wouldn't even help anybody else avoid her. No one starting a relationship with Zoe would believe it anyway. Certainly I wouldn't have. If by some chance her name were googled and this blog was found it would be easy to dismiss it as an attempt at payback by a rejected and bitter man who maybe wasn't good enough for her or maybe has serious issues of his own.

If you're dating Zoe now, I know what's going on and I know what you're thinking. She's telling you what she told me about the long string of disappointing men in her past, with one more added on. She's telling you how very unlike any man she's ever met you are, how you are the one that is going to redeem the male half of the species and indeed, love itself, for her. She's telling herself about how different it will all be this time. You will believe it, because you will want to, and because she has picked you at least partly for that reason, and because she is good at what she does.

But maybe someday, after you've been discarded too, you'll do your own research and find your way to this blog, and feel there is something familiar about it. I hope it helps you then.